LINCOLN SAYS UNCOOL talbots

My wife, Mary Todd, has often shopped at Talbots in the past, but until a few days ago had always gone alone or with some equally crazy (my wife’s crazy) friends such as these guys…

LINCOLN SAYS UNCOOL life is good

Mary Todd used to wear Life is Good products religiously. And not in the sense of the word that she would just wear the product often, it was actually part of her religious beliefs to wear the product and worship the product’s character, Jake, as a god. As I’ve pointed out many a time by now, Mary Todd is crazy.

Since my better (or crazier) half was so in to these t-shirts, socks, hats, and other various apparrel items, I felt somewhat of an obligation to at least try wearing something “Life is Good.” Even at the time I knew the product was uncool, but little did I know that the product was actually deadly.

LINCOLN SAYS UNCOOL harley davidson

Quite recently, Mary Todd insisted that we go to a Harley Davidson sponsored festival that was happening in the area. In her mind, she believed that seeing all the brand new motorcycles would make us kids again.* Although all evidence pointed that this would be a terrible idea, I reluctantly agreed to go anyway as I do love my wife.

We arrived at the festival and immediately our ears were pounded with music being played by the local hard-rock station, DC 101, who was DJing the event. The first song we heard was by Nine Inch Nails, because of course it would be. The event was already starting out on a good note.