I have decided to host a writing competition that will require proficiency and skill in three categories:
3. Physical Strength and Courage in Battle (one mother category with two children-categories, obviously. “Courage in Battle” would have been what we named Tad if he was a girl.)
Anyways, here is the challenge.
Write the text for the cover sleeve of a fictional book.
This challenge is completely open to interpretation. Just keep in mind the three categories of proficiency and skill that are required for sucessful submissions and you could be well on your way to owning the PRIZE OF THE YEAR! (If I can be Honest Abe about it, it is not the best prize of the year. But it is close!)
The winner of the writing contest will receive a vinyl addition of Animal Collective’s Merriweather Post Pavilion! (Valued at $22.78 on Amazon! Exactly $2.22 from free shipping.)
This album is arguably the best album of 2009 so far, it certainly blew my cerebral lobe to pieces (John Wilkes Booth was all a conspiracy), and hearing the orgasmic qualities of the 2:31 mark of “In The Flowers” is even grander on vinyl. But that’s not even the best part…
I, Abraham Lincoln, will personally autograph the vinyl’s cover!
(I completely understand if you do not want me to autograph your vinyl. The autograph part is completely optional!)
Exclamation points all around.
I also understand that you may be tempted, as you are greedy, to submit your writing and not tell your friends in order to raise your chances of winning. So in order to force you to be more caring to your friends by letting them know about a low-key contest with a prize of small monetary value, I will be providing an incentive to tell your friends.
Whoever refers the most people to actually join in on the contest will receive a vinyl addition of the Dirty Projectors’ single “Stillness Is The Move”!
I will autograph this one as well if the winner so wishes.
-Submit writing to the email@example.com by midnight of Thanksgiving (November 26)
-Multiple entries are allowed
-To prove that you referred people, the referred person must state that they were referred by (your name) in their email of submission
-Don’t stay up too late, it’s a weeknight and you have school in the morning
-Make sure to include your name and the fake book’s title in your submission
-By submitting you are agreeing to allow me to post your submissions on the site for viewers to see.
-By submitting you are agreeing to give me your address in the event that you win (not necessary for submission)
-If less than a baker’s dozen submit, I will be very sad
-If you are the only one to submit, congratulations on your win
If you have any questions, leave them in the comments section. I am sure I forgot to specify most things.
In the words of the great John Hodgman…
That is all.