Category Archives: Television Personalities

LINCOLNS SAYS UNCOOL jay leno

jay leno

Jay Leno recently invited Mary Todd and me to a personal dinner in Los Angeles, an invitation that we were baffled to receive but accepted anyways. Even though neither Mary Todd nor myself were fans of his, we figured it would be rude to turn the offer down, and we like to think that we are not rude people like Stonewall Jackson’s family.

We arrived at the restaurant, which admittedly was very nice, a few minutes after Leno apparently had arrived. When we walked through the door he greeted us with a smug smile and told us he had already scoped out the best table in the house. So we followed him into the restaurant, eventually stopping at a table that was occupied by Conan O’Brien. Continue reading

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LINCOLN SAYS UNCOOL kate gosselin

kate gos

About a month ago, Mary Todd became obsessed with the idea of taking a tour of the television channel, TLC’s, headquarters. Over the years I have learned not to question her strange passions (such as becoming a Seal impersonator, starting a magazine devoted entirely to pictures of caterpillars, and trying to become a pterodactyl) as there is no stopping the crazy. So in any case, we made the trip. Continue reading

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LINCOLN SAYS UNCOOL glenn beck

glenn beck

About a week ago, I was invited on to the Glenn Beck show on the Fox News Channel to talk about Obama’s handling of the Henry Louis Gates Jr. (black Harvard Professor) arrest. They apparently invited me for my historical precedence on “race issues.”* Although I have a strong suspicion that Glenn Beck is the anti-christ, I agreed to go on the program.

As soon as I arrived at the studio, I was swarmed with make up artists who all were dedicated to the task of covering up or disguising the gaping hole in my head. One woman suggested covering it up with a yamaka and passing me off as just coming from a Jewish friend’s wedding (which for the record I would have been fine with) but she was immediately fired as that idea was “gross” and “this program isn’t trying to send it’s viewers to hell.” Both of those quotes came from Glenn Beck himself. Continue reading

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Filed under Television Personalities