Category Archives: Musicians

LINCOLN SAYS UNCOOL three oh! three


Young Tad introduced this band to me as we were riding our horses* to the local arcade and listening to the radio. Although I usually listen to NPR, whenever riding the ole’ mustang with Tad we listen to Tad’s favorite pop station, HOT 99.5 (which, mathematically, is the relative opposite of NPR).

This band, 3OH!3, is played constantly upon Tad’s favorite station, with their most popular song, “Don’t Trust Me” playing at least twice every ten minutes. So for the forty-five minutes it takes us to ride our mustang to the arcade, the song plays at least eight times. Although I have heard some terrible sounds in my day (usually emanating from Mary Todd’s throat when she’s going through one of her crazy spells)** this song is in a class of it’s own. Continue reading



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nickelback lincoln

The summer of 1861 sure was a hectic one. What with the Civil War of the country I was presiding over starting and more importantly my son going through a Nickelback phase, change was all around my humble self.

I must admit, the first press conference of the summer was quite difficult. The Press Corps were like sharks that day, asking hardball question after hardball question about what I even knew at the time to be one of our country’s greatest criseses.

“How long has your son been listening to Nickelback?”

“Do you believe this infatuation with Nickelback to be just a phase or do you see this as having lasting power?”

“Why are you still making speeches about the Civil War when we all know you are just distracting us from the real crises? You’re son is a Nickelhead.”

Oh God, that day was awful. Did they really believe I knew the answers to those questions? Did they really believe I hadn’t spent every night since the news hit tossing and turning in my bed just trying to figure out how to solve this national crisis? Looking back on my presidency, my son becoming a Nickelback fan truly was my lowest moment and most difficult challenge. Continue reading


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