Category Archives: Politicians

LINCOLN SAYS UNCOOL mahmoud ahmadinejad


Earlier this summer I was permitted by the Ayatollah the opportunity to face Mahmoud in a game of one-on-one basketball. Mahmoud had gone undefeated in such games in the past, but this is misleading. The man is terrible at basketball. The cause of his undefeated streak on the court rested solely on the inadequacy of the opponents the Ayatollah had handpicked for him.

I was supposed to be the next helpless victim in Mahmoud’s never ending winning streak (they assumed my infamous head injury would render me useless on the court), but this was not a role I had any intention of fulfilling.

The game started with the Ayatollah tossing the ball towards Ahmadinejad even though we both were standing at middle court supposed to be waiting for our fair chance at the ball. I figure that should have been expected.

Let me reiterate, Mahmoud is terrible at basketball. When he would dribble down the court, the ball would bounce almost over his head and often he would trip over himself. This, along with my towering height advantage, made it very easy to to destroy him up and down the court.

I recall with a great amount of pride a moment where I stole the ball from him just a few feet from his basket, tossed the ball against the backboard, and then jumped over him to catch the ball with one hand and slam it into the hoop. The crowd went wild and screamed the word, “Green!” repeatedly in unison, the significance of which I would assume was that the word “green” represented how “money” that dunk was. Is “money” a phrase the kids are using these days? I’ll go ask Tad, be back in a minute.

In the meantime, look at this picture. Continue reading



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