Young Tad introduced this band to me as we were riding our horses* to the local arcade and listening to the radio. Although I usually listen to NPR, whenever riding the ole’ mustang with Tad we listen to Tad’s favorite pop station, HOT 99.5 (which, mathematically, is the relative opposite of NPR).
This band, 3OH!3, is played constantly upon Tad’s favorite station, with their most popular song, “Don’t Trust Me” playing at least twice every ten minutes. So for the forty-five minutes it takes us to ride our mustang to the arcade, the song plays at least eight times. Although I have heard some terrible sounds in my day (usually emanating from Mary Todd’s throat when she’s going through one of her crazy spells)** this song is in a class of it’s own.
Although the song has many flaws such as; strong basis on novelty, reliance on an old and boring pop format, and the overall fact that the members of the band seem like awful and unrelatable people, there is one part of the song that really makes me angry every time Tad and my humble self listen to it on our way to the arcade.
3OH!3-“Shush girl, shut your lips. Do the Helen Keller and talk with your hips.”
On one hand, perhaps the command to stop talking is because they are afraid of the inevitable criticism that should automatically follow a song such as this. But on the other, and more serious hand,*** Helen Keller is far too good of a person and a friend to be so horribly trashed in this piece of garbage.
3OH!3 is so uncool.
*As I’ve stated before, horses were the only means of transportation back in my day, kids. Not even walking was invented until 1922!
**Which is more often than not.