From time to time I shall take a break from writing about what is uncool and opinionate about movies, music, & sometimes even other things! Basically, I shall do these whenever it is Mary Todd’s time of the month. That time which happens every month when she forces me to try and be more “hip” with the younger generations and such.
Tag Archives: review
Since my horribly unsatisfactory experience at the Ford Theater so many years ago,* all theaters across the country have agreed to let me in for free, therefore allowing me to see pretty much every movie. Unfortunately, even “free” is not a good deal sometimes.
To be fair, the trauma this movie caused me is partly my fault, as I should have known what I was getting into when I saw the movie posters. As seen above, the poster features the insufferable Katherine Heigl holding a heart in a manner that seems to say, “I’m a thirty year old woman that’s just looking for love in this world but am also pretty hilarious. Right other ladies!.” And where is the heart placed on Gerard Butler’s body? Upon his genitals! HILARIOUS!!! I can relate to this poster as I too have noticed how woman just want to be loved and guys are just dirty human beings looking for sex.***
I first encountered the comedic attempts of Dane Cook while attempting to quickly shuffle past the fraternity house located on the street of my dear friend Ulysses S. Grant’s humble abode who I was attempting to visit. Before I could get past the entirety of the fraternity front lawn, I heard a deep and drunken call directed towards my location.
“Hey! Hey, you! You need to get off the street and come in here to listen to Daney Dane’s new special, you dumbass. It only premiers once!”
Never one to refuse an invitation (due to my violent obsessive compulsive disorder) I reluctantly followed the fratboy inside to listen to “Daney Dane.”
Although I could elaborate on what a repulsive shape the fraternity house was kept in and how every piece of furniture smelled of semen, that would be beside the point.