Tag Archives: movie

LINCOLN SAYS UNCOOL boondocks saints II: all saints day trailer

boon dock saints

Somewhat recently, I had the pleasure of riding with my son by horse and carriage (the only form of transportation at the time, kids.  Riding on top of a horse wasn’t invented until 1937 and the invention of walking wasn’t even until 1958!) to Comic-Con 2009 in San Diego. Although I knew riding by horse and carriage all the way from our humble Illinois home would be a bit arduous, Tad had been nagging me to take him so he could see the new Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day trailer for quite some time, and luckily for him I knew nothing of Boondock Saints I: Many, But Not Quite All of the Saints Day. Continue reading

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LINCOLN SAYS UNCOOL charlie sheen

sheen

Recently Mary Todd won a contest hosted by CBS where the prize was that the winner and one friend could spend the day with Charlie Sheen at his mansion. Although this did not seem like much of a prize and more of a burden than anything else to me, I agreed to go besides my doubts as a long time ago I did make a promise to follow Mary Todd through sickness and in health. I was and still am pretty sure that Charlie Sheen’s mansion is the earthly equivalent of sickness.

We arrived at his house at nine in the morning, just as were instructed to. The doorbell ended up being very sticky but at least it worked. Charlie Sheen eventually answered the door with a glass of Vodka in one hand and a bowling ball in the other.* He was shaking a bit.

There was a dead prostitute lying on the couch directly behind him. Continue reading

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LINCOLN SAYS UNCOOL the ugly truth

the ugly truth

Since my horribly unsatisfactory experience at the Ford Theater so many years ago,* all theaters across the country have agreed to let me in for free, therefore allowing me to see pretty much every movie. Unfortunately, even “free” is not a good deal sometimes.

To be fair, the trauma this movie caused me is partly my fault, as I should have known what I was getting into when I saw the movie posters. As seen above, the poster features the insufferable Katherine Heigl holding a heart in a manner that seems to say, “I’m a thirty year old woman that’s just looking for love in this world but am also pretty hilarious. Right other ladies!.” And where is the heart placed on Gerard Butler’s body? Upon his genitals! HILARIOUS!!! I can relate to this poster as I too have noticed how woman just want to be loved and guys are just dirty human beings looking for sex.***

Continue reading

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Filed under Movies